24 Hours

 As I was taking our dog, Gunner, on his daily 2 mile walk around the neighborhood, I was amazed at the difference in my mental attitude from just 24 hours ago.
 Yesterday, I was feeling a little down, depressed, in a funk, unmotivated...whatever you want to call it. Nothing of any importance happened to make me feel this way. Just "got up on the wrong side of the bed" kind of day. It was dark, windy and very wet weather making the house feel dark on top of my dark mood. I did manage to get the girls guided through their school work...although, my tolerance level was low. During algebra, I was not making any sense to them, or myself for that matter, the lack of patience and my mood forced us to put away the lesson. Finished early, I retreated to my bedroom and sulked away the afternoon. I never managed to get out of my pajamas either. That kind of day.
  Yet today, on the walk with Gunner, I was feeling content, happy, accomplished, motivated, refreshed...you get the idea. And again, nothing in particular happened to make me feel this way either. I got up "on the right side of the bed" today. The girls went to co-op first thing, and I managed to get some things accomplished. I made it out of pajamas, got pictures of items and listed them on Etsy, made a blog post, and granola started in the oven. The girls returned and we flew through the second half of the algebra that we abandoned yesterday and completed the remainder of the school day in record time.  Then the walk with Gunner.
 We have all heard the saying "Take an aspirin and call me in the morning."  When we really think about it, 24 hours can make a big difference mentally, spiritually and physically. Physically, you can take a medicine and within 24 hours feel like a new human being. Spiritually, you can make the choice to be baptized into Christ and "...be raised with Him through faith in the working of God..." Colossians 2:12. Mentally, like me, you wake up on the wrong side one day and on the right side 24 hours later.
 Being a child of a mother that committed suicide, I just wonder what could have been so wrong that she couldn't see that tomorrow would be a new day. I don't generally share my feelings concerning her death, but while walking today, I realized that  her decision is not a reflection of who I am. The result of not having her in my life makes me sad a times and long for a mom, but not having her has not been all negative. A positive of not having her is that I fell it has made me the mother that I am today. I desperately try to not take moments for granted with my own daughter and steal a kiss or hug every chance I get. Maybe it comes down to being able to forgive yourself, ask God for his forgiveness and move on.